Wednesday 26 June 2024
Have you ever heard of Murphy’s Law? It basically states, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” That seems to be the story of my life during the past few months, and I’m struggling. I’m fine – it could always be worse – but ever since I lost my job on March 28th, it’s been one thing after another, and we’ve really been feeling the pinch of living on one income with a family of six (including our puppy) in these times of extremely high inflation.
Trivial Inconveniences Accumulate
Our dryer broke within the first week of my job loss (c. March 29th – April 4th). It just wouldn’t turn on. We watched many YouTube videos on how to fix it, ordered a few cheap parts for the common problems from Amazon using a gift card balance, and fixed it ourselves within a few days. In the meantime, I rigged a clothesline in the garage. I’m pleased that our dryer’s fixed since line-drying in the garage made our clothes kind of stiff and have an off-smell, but the act of hanging our clothes to dry was kind of relaxing, I must admit.
Then, within the same week – or it might’ve been the following week – that our dryer stopped working, I stubbed/hit my “ring” toe on my right foot on my son’s metal bed frame while I was stripping his sheets to wash them. That really hurt. I honestly think I broke it. I hobbled around for a few weeks. It still hurts and is a bit swollen, but it’s slowly healing.
On or around June 10th, our washing machine broke. It started, but it stopped at the rinse and drain cycle. The washer proved to be more difficult to troubleshoot and fix than the dryer, so I handwashed our clothes in the bathtub for almost three weeks until we were able to acquire enough money to get it repaired today. Washing the clothes in the bathtub was actually kind of relaxing at first, but it was still difficult with chronic neck and back pain, and our laundry didn’t get quite as clean, so I was ecstatic when we were able to finally get it repaired.
Don’t take the little things for granted.
Then, on June 15th (the day before our 14th wedding anniversary!), our vacuum cleaner broke. Our 13-month-old German Shepherd decided to chew through the cord while I was vacuuming. My poor puppy received the electric shock of a lifetime; but, he’s just fine, thank the good Lord. He did urinate on the carpet in his pain and fear, and it took me about 30-45 minutes to clean it well. My husband was able to replace the plug with a cheap (~$6) part from Walmart about a few days later, and I used our shop vac in the meantime, which was such a hassle because its low profile is not conducive for vacuuming carpet.
Financial Stress
Additionally, the aforementioned inconveniences have been compounded by an increasingly meager budget.
My husband’s aunt and grandfather both died within about a month of each other in February and March, so my husband took about a week off work for bereavement at the beginning of June, since the families waited that long for their celebration of life services. He did get paid time off for that, but it wasn’t as much as usual.
My youngest daughter broke her wrist in February, and I received the bill for it in late March/early April. It was about twice as much than I expected, despite having what I thought was good insurance. My husband sold five pairs of his Nike’s and we finally made the last payment on that yesterday (and the rest went toward the washing machine repair).
My son really needed braces, adding another monthly expense I can’t really afford, starting in late May. I’ll still be paying on that until next year at this rate.
We’ve had to use the credit card to pay for groceries the past few weeks, so there’s another debt adding up. (I hate debt! As “the borrower is slave to the lender,” it’s stressful and steals from you.)
Last week, my husband had to take even more time off work due to severe back pain, so tomorrow’s paycheck is going to be smaller than usual as well.
Job Search Discouragement
On top of all that, my job search is not going well. After I lost my job, I really wanted to return to being a full-time homemaker. While my husband seemed to understand, he wasn’t supportive of that, at all. He finds it stressful to be the only income provider – even though that’s basically his only responsibility – especially during this time of high inflation. But, I was stressed working full-time, homeschooling our three children, trying to manage our home efficiently, and keeping up with our puppy. My husband, and even my children, did help some when I was working, and I was very content overall and learned to manage it, but it was still a lot for me to manage practically alone.
Out of respect for my husband, I have been applying for jobs, but I’m not really getting any responses (well, except rejection emails). I’ve only applied to about <75 positions since I started my job search at the beginning of April, though. If I absolutely must become employed again, I would like to find another remote position to continue homeschooling my children – that’s what my husband wants as well – and because it suits my introverted personality. However, I’m finding that many available remote positions, with the higher pay that we need, require a Degree or specific experience that I don’t have. (I have been a homemaker/stay-at-home mother for 82% of my married life, after all. I’ve only held three short-term jobs: an aircraft mechanic for 17 months (late 2018 – early 2020), 6 weeks as a seasonal Dollar Tree employee (late 2020 – early 2021), and a data analyst and administrator (February 2023 – March 2024).)
I do have a strong entrepreneurial drive, so with a disappointing job search and a budget becoming more meager by the week, I started looking into freelance positions a few weeks ago, to try to bring in an income quicker. I stumbled across the Amazon Influencer program, did some research, and applied with my YouTube channel. I was immediately rejected. They scan your engagement metrics and such, and mine were found wanting, apparently (no surprise there, though).
So, I temporarily became distracted and started a new Amazon product review YouTube channel. Over two weeks (June 2nd – 15th), I posted several product review Shorts on my new channel with the goal to gain approval for the Amazon Influencer program more quickly. But, in my eagerness to get started, I realized that I had overlooked something important – I hadn’t added my new channel to my Epidemic Sound safelist. I’ve been paying for an Epidemic Sound subscription ($17.99 per month) since last October to use their music tracts for my main channel, Simply Amber Marie, and I used their tracks for my new channel without thinking that each platform needs to be individually safelisted. When I finally realized my mistake, I discovered that it’s extremely expensive to have two YouTube channels safelisted, so I had to private those Shorts. I was temporarily discouraged, because I felt like all that hard work over those couple of weeks on my new channel amounted to nothing.
So, I’ve abandoned that channel, but not necessarily the Amazon Influencer program. I can make more money than my husband per month if I can only just get approved, after all. I know that if I focus on actually applying the concepts that I’ve learned over the years for a successful YouTube channel, I think I can use my main channel, Simply Amber Marie, to keep applying to the Amazon Influencer program and maybe even (finally) monetize my main YouTube channel. In the meantime, I plan to continue applying to remote jobs, even though I’m starting to get the feeling that I need to stop dithering and either fully commit to becoming employed again, or present a much stronger case to my husband and fully commit to being a very frugal homemaker.
I’ve also been reflecting a lot on the direction of Simply Amber Marie. You may know that I transitioned from “speed cleaning” videos to focusing on slow and simple living content about 9 months ago. It’s been a journey of trial and error, and I’m still figuring things out. Most recently, I thought that sharing my decluttering progress would be relevant to my slow and simple lifestyle because decluttering emphasizes reducing physical and mental distractions to create a more intentional and fulfilling life, and intentional living is a significant part of a slow and simple lifestyle. But, I’m not sure that I’m achieving that by sharing my decluttering sessions. I think it’s just because I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with it, probably because we’ve had a lot of other things going on.
Putting Things into Perspective
Overall, the past few months since I lost my job have been overwhelming. In spite of all of the many small inconveniences compounded by financial stress that we’ve withstood in such a short time, Murphy’s Law is not the law I operate from; I just kind of forgot that for a while. There is a solution, if not multiple solutions, to every problem.
All of life is an exam to prepare us for an eternity with God, and we’ve just been receiving consecutive tests here lately that seem difficult because it’s a lot. That’s all this is. I really want to pass these tests in order to bring glory to my Heavenly Father so that, when I finally see Jesus, He’ll smile at me and say, “Well done, good and faithful servant; you have been faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord” (ref. The Parable of the Talents from Matthew 25:14-30). Until then, I’ll keep trusting and loving my Redeemer, one moment at a time.
Time for a Slow and Simple Reset
While it’s so easy to get caught up in the overwhelm of a “Murphy’s Law season,” taking a step back and focusing on what truly matters can bring so much peace and clarity. To reset and realign with my slow and simple living values – and, more importantly, put my full focus back on God, my Helper – I’ve ideated a simple 3-phase reset plan:
- Re-establish my daily and weekly routines that focus on “mindfulness,” simple tasks that are mostly homemaking related, and minimal self-care. Amidst the overwhelm (during the end of May and practically the entire month of June), I strayed from my new routines that I started in mid-April. But, starting my day with tasks like meditating on God’s Word and gentle stretching, and ending my day with tasks like resetting the house (especially the kitchen), set such a positive tone for not only the current day, but for the next day as well; I know that having a calm and intentional start and end to my day makes a significant difference in how I handle everything else.
- Continue to declutter and simplify our house. I was seriously considering giving up with everything else going on, and I kind of had for about six weeks. But, I know that creating and having a peaceful environment helps clear my mind and reduces stress. Since I finished recording my last decluttering and organizing session in mid-May, I’m finally ready to resume my entire house decluttering and organizing plan. I know that maintaining decluttered and organized spaces not only makes our home look better, but it also helps me feel a bit more in control and less overwhelmed.
- Gain back control over our finances. Budgeting has become crucial since shortly after losing my job. We did have a small amount of money saved before I was terminated, I received a small amount after taxes of severance pay in April, and I was able to receive unemployment benefits for the month of May; so, we didn’t really start feeling the pinch of living on one income until around the beginning of June. I’ve just now realized that my primary problem was that we had a accumulated a lot of debt within a few months, and I was trying to pay it off as quickly as I could with money we really didn’t have, but that forced us into more debt (i.e. groceries on the credit card for almost the entire month of June; that was stupid, what was I thinking?!). So, after learning the hard way, I will be more diligent about adhering to our budget (especially our grocery budget), not spending as much money on things we don’t truly need for survival (food, utilities, the mortgage, and transportation), and accepting that we can only afford the minimum payments on our debt right now. Being mindful of our spending and making the most of what we already have will help reduce financial stress, especially until we are in a better financial position.
Simply by evaluating the last few months of my life and having a plan in place is making a big difference already in how I feel. Life can be overwhelming, but by slowing down and resetting, I know that we can find that calming simplicity once more.
Simply Amber Marie 